Beastie Girl/Transcript

Season 4, Episode 15: "Beastie Girl" Original Air Date: November 19, 2002 English Writer: Terri Lei O'Malley

[Mercury watches in his mirror shield Grumblemon getting defeated.] MERCURYMON: Just look at him. How pathetic.

RANAMON: I told you, he's all mouth, no moxie, sugar.

MERCURYMON: Me thinks that his tongue doth far outstrip his technique.

RANAMON: That's what I just said, you shiny twit. But that's not the point. The point is it's up to us now.

MERCURYMON: Thou mayn't dampen my enthusiasm, queen of puddles. I remain your loyal ally.

RANAMON: Then why don't you prove it? Find Arbormon, he's thick-headed but useful. I don't have time for his nonsense.

MERCURYMON: Me thinks this as subterfuge, my grisly damsel.

RANAMON: Mercurymon, try speaking English.

MERCURYMON: Shalt thou listen to make a change, my lady? I will tell you what you wish not to hear. It is thy lack of a beast spirit that doth plague thy mind.

RANAMON: What are you trying to say?

MERCURYMON: I'm saying you're scared, you mirky-headed nit! You're afraid you'll end up just like Grumblemon.

RANAMON: That's ridiculous! I think you've poli shed your face one too many times, sugar. Of all the nerve, how dare you compare me to that incompetent rock-head.

MERCURYMON: I dare because I knoweth to be true.

RANAMON: Your brain is rusting. Those whiny children will never defeat me. Those little darlings will beg me to take their spirits before I'm done.

MERCURYMON: Hm. Do as you wish, my lady.

[Alone, Ranamon swims in her small pool.]

RANAMON: I always do as I wish. And he's just plain wrong about me being afraid. But that metal-head Mercurymon is right about one thing. I might as well be a silly lawn sprinkler with all the damage I can't do without my beast spirit.

[She swims to the side of the pool and starts to type on a computer.]

RANAMON: But where can it be hiding? My loyal fans have searched everywhere, I've searched everywhere. Still there's nothing. Streams, nothing. Ponds, nothing. Nothing, nothing. It's really quite embarrassing. Honestly, even three of those bratty babies have beast spirits. And I, the queen of the sea, the darling of the deep, the prettiest pearl in an ocean's oyster, I have nothing. I have shame and despair. Huh? I haven't looked there. This puts a whole new spin on things. Now to find the local devoted fan club. Oh, this is simply devine. Those boys will trade thier tail feathers for a wink. They can search for my beast spirit for me. Oh, how I adore being adored. It's so much nicer than working. *laughs*

[Whamon drops the kids off at an island and swims away.]

TAKUYA: See ya, buddy!

TOMMY: Bye!

NEEMON: Aloha!

ZOE: Ciao, Whamon!

[With one last spout blast, he dives under.]

KOJI: So, there he goes.

TAKUYA: Nice of you to point out the obvious.

ZOE: Don't be such boys.

BOKOMON: My dear Zoe, what has gotten into you?

ZOE: You can't blame a girl for feeling good on such a beautiful day. Especially a girl who has her spirit back.

J.P.: And let us not forget who has a beast spirit now.

ZOE: Let's hear it for J.P., the princely beast of thunder.

J.P.: And Zoe, princess of the summer breeze.

TAKUYA: And Takuya, king of I'm gonna be sick!

[Up on a cliff-top, four Digimon watch.]

DIGIMON 4: Did you hear that?

DIGIMON 2: We're standing right beside you, geek boy, of course we heard it.

DIGIMON 3: The beast spirits.

DIGIMON 1: Ranamon will be so happy.

[They daydream Ranamon.]

RANAMON: Thanks, boys.

DIGIMON ALL: Ohhh... She might even come to our island and visit us.

DIGIMON 1: She'll be so happy, she might even talk to us. With those beautiful lips and that cute, cute voice. Ohhh...

DIGIMON ALL: Cute voice.

[They daydream of Ranamon visiting them.]

DIGIMON ALL: You are too cu-uuuu-te! We love you, Ranamon! L-O-V-E, love, love, love you.

DIGIMON 3: Oh, what a night. What a night.

DIGIMON 1: Just think how happy she'll be when we give her that beast spirit. She'll come here and sing to us. She might even kiss us!

DIGIMON 2: Dream on, doofus. Just how do you plan on getting the beast spirit away from those kids.

DIGIMON 4: Yeah, there are a lot of them and they're awfully big. Isn't there an easier way to get a kiss?

DIGIMON 1: Chicken heart. I've got everything covered.

[The kids are walking down a path near the water.]

J.P.: Y'know, I can't help but notice that it's summer and we're at a beach.

ZOE: I noticed that.

TOMMY: Yeah, you know what that means.

ALL: Summer vacation!

TOMMY: The waves!

ZOE: Shell hunting!

J.P.: Lots of sunshine!

TAKUYA: Yeah, put it all together and what have you got? The beach, baby!

KOJI: Takuya, aren't you forgetting something? We're supposed to be on a mission here. We'd be stupid to let our guard down.

TAKUYA: C'mon, you gotta lighten up there, buddy.

J.P.: Yeah, stop being a party pooper.

[They start tickling Koji.]

KOJI: No, wait! Enough, guys, I just think that--

TOMMY: Yes you are. You're being pooey.

KOJI: Stop it! Huh?

ZOE: It can't hurt to take a short break. We've earned it.

TAKUYA & J.P.: Zoe's right. We have earned it.

KOJI: Fine, whatever. I'm obviously outnumbered here.

ZOE: That's it then. All in favor say aye!

ALL: Aye-yai!

NEEMON: Oh!

BOKOMON: Oh, indeed. Look!

[He points down the beach where a hut stands.]

ZOE: What's summer vacation without a beach house?

KOJI: This is a little too convenient.

TOMMY: I don't know about that, but it looks awfully comfortable.

[The four Digimon come out.]

DIGIMON ALL: Welcome!

BOKOMON: Oh, goods, it's the Toucanmon. Gaudy looking creatures, but very timid. Their attack is Crazy Crest. Sounds rather silly, doesn't it?

TOUCANMON 1: Honored guests, we welcome you to Toucan Paradise.

TOMMY: Thank you, Mr. Toucanmon. We're honored you're honored.

KOJI: Yeah, we're honored, but we're broke.

TOUCANMON 2: Oh, please, what's a few digi-sheckles among friends? And it just so happens that today everything is on the house. By which I mean free. Not served on the roof.

BOKOMON: We know what it means.

TOUCANMON 3: Sorry, so sorry. It was just a small joke. Very small.

TOMMY: It's okay.

TOUCANMON 4: No, no, no, we are humiliated. There's absolutely nothing we won't do to make it up to you.

J.P.: Wow, really?

TOUCANMON ALL: Really, really, really, really. Double really.

[Inside, they all site at a table as the Toucanmon serve the food.]

TOUCANMON 1: A little of this.

TOUCANMON 2: A smidge of that and, ladies and gentlemen...

TOUCANMON 1: You're lunch is served.

ALL: Wow. All right. What are we waiting for?!

TAKUYA: Let's dig in!

ALL: Yeah, where do we start?

[They start to eat.]

ALL: Delicious!

TAKUYA: Oh, man, I am so enjoying these overcooked robin noodles with rubbery egg.

ZOE: This is the best lumpy curry I've ever had.

KOJI: You're weird. Is that supposed to be a compliment?

J.P.: Dude, don't you get it? It's real food. Like home, not some kind of crazy meat-tasting rabbit food.

TAKUYA: Every bit of it tastes just like it is. Lumps and all! Besides, it's a beach house, buddy. The food could have sand and bugs and stuff all over it and no one would care.

ZOE AND J.P.: Bring on the bugs!

NEEMON: And sand! Whoo-hoo!

BOKOMON: And stop! Bring on the stop!

[When they're done eating everything on the table.]

NEEMON: You ate a lot.

BOKOMON: I'm eating for two now,. My selfish days are over. If I must pig out, then so be it.

ALL: It was wonderful!

TOUCANMON ALL: Don't mention it. It was our pleasure.

TAKUYA: My tummy feels like a melon.

ZOE: Tommy, did you get enough?

TOMMY: Mmm-hmm.

J.P.: Oh, enough. And more!

TAKUYA: Well I guess it's time to split?

TOUCANMON ALL: Huh?!

ZOE: We've imposed on you too much already.

TOUCANMON 1: Go on, impose.

TOUCANMON 2: Please, we're begging you. Impose already.

TAKUYA: Thanks, but we're stuffed as ticks.

TOUCANMON 4: But you're growing kids. It won't be long before you're hungry again. What kind of hosts would we be if we let you leave without supper?

TAKUYA: Supper? Are you nuts? I won't be hungry for hours. I might never eat again.

TOUCANMON 2: You say that now, but after you've been in the sun... I'm sure you will agree with me. And might I suggest you take advantage of our su per valued summer special.

[He pulls back a curtain to reveal swim gear.]

TOUCANMON 3: What he's saying is free beach rentals for everybody.

TAKUYA: Man!

ZOE & TOMMY: Wow!

TOUCANMON 1: Complimentary baskets are available for your valuables. So just go out and have a good time. Leave the worrying to us.

[After a little while, the boys race towards the water. Tommy has an inner tube and J.P. has a small paddle boat.]

BOYS: Banzai!

[They splash into the water. Takuya and Koji swim around while Tommy and J.P. lounge in their floats.]

J.P: *laughs*

TAKUYA: This is the life. Hey, are sure you don't want to race me, Tommy? I'll give you a ten inner-tube start.

TOMMY: Hey, I'm on vacation.

BOYS: *laugh*

[On the beach, Bokomon is sitting in a chair with an umbrella shading him and holding a drink. Neemon is lying in the sand with only his head and toes visible.]

NEEMON: Are my ears getting burned?

BOKOMON: Why worry, your brains already cooked. Huh? I don't see Zoe, have we lost one?

[Inside the girls changing room, Zoe's getting prepared while outside, two Toucanmon approach. Zoe holds up a white strapless swimsuit with two red stripes across it.]

ZOE: Hmm. Now in this one I'd look like a race queen! The stripes are nice, but white is so boring.

[She tosses it into a pile of rejected suits and holds up a black one.]

ZOE: This is kinda cool. Super athlete. Then again, maybe not. It's not really a fun in the sun sort of suit. Next!

[She tosses that one into the pile and holds up a cranberry-colored bikini.]

ZOE: Caybella! But not much there.

[She tosses it and holds up a lavender bathing suit.]

ZOE: Now this one's nice. In fact it's just perfect! Hmm?

[She starts to take off her clothes when she hears a sound.]

ZOE: Huh? Aaaaaaaahhh!!!

TAKUYA: Huh?

J.P.: Oh!

TOMMY: Huh?

KOJI: Huh?

[The boys along with Bokomon and Neemon run across the beach and stop in front of the dressing rooms. Takuya and J.P. run in.]

TAKUYA: Zoe, what's wrong? J.P.: Are you okay?

[They realize where they are as Zoe starts throwing anything she can reach at them.]

ZOE: Aaahhh!! Get out, get out, get out!

[After she redresses, she meets the others outside.]

TAKUYA & J.P.: Oh...

ZOE: I am so sorry.

KOJI: So, what happened? Why did you scream before?

ZOE: Because someone's a peeping tom!

TAKUYA: You're kidding?!

J.P.: Let me at the creep! How dare he!

[Everyone looks at J.P.]

TOMMY: Hmm.

TAKUYA: Hmm.

BOKOMON & NEEMON: Mmm-hmm.

J.P.: What are you looking at me for, huh? Huh? Huh?

BOKOMON: You must admit it looks suspicious. After all you are the most likely culprit.

NEEMON: Mmm-hmm.

TAKUYA: He makes a good point, J.P. Why don't you just admit it?

J.P.: Because I just didn't do it, that's why.

TOMMY: Come on, guys. It couldn't have been J.P. He was swimming with us the whole time, remember?

TAKUYA, BOKOMON, & NEEMON: I forgot.

KOJI: We all have the same alibi.

BOKOMON: Then by the process of elimination it was no one.

J.P.: Are you calling Zoe a liar?

TAKUYA: Nah, 'course not J.P. It's obvious we're not alone here.

KOJI: Of course we're not alone, Einstein. Did you forget about the Toucanmon?

[They head to the beach house to find it completely empty.]

TOMMY: Where'd they all go?

TAKUYA: Now, this is suspicious.

KOJI: Huh?! Oh no!

[He runs into their changing room, with the others close behind. Once there, he dumps out his basket, but something's missing.]

KOJI: The bird boys tricked us.

J.P.: Oh, man. My D-Tector's gone.

TAKUYA: Aw, man. Mine's gone too. This is awful.

BOKOMON: This goes way beyond awful, young man. How could you let those Toucanmon trick you like that?

KOJI: Stop it. They fooled all of us.

TAKUYA & J.P.: That's right.

[They start to undress when they realize who else is there.]

ZOE: Uh!

TAKUYA & J.P.: Uh!

[They throw anything within reach at her.]

TAKUYA & J.P.: Get out, get out, get out!

[Walking down a path next the water, the Toucanmon toss the four D-Tector's up and down.]

TOUCANMON ALL: *laugh*

TOUCANMON 1: That was almost too easy. Those silly kids never had a chance. We finally proved ourselves worthy of our ravishing Ranamon.

TOUCANMON ALL: Oh, Ranamon, the ravishing!

[The DigiDestined catch up to them.]

TAKUYA: All right, hold it right there, you thieves!

TOUCANMON 1: Oh-oh.

TAKUYA: Just what do you mean by 'Ranamon the ravishing', huh?

KOJI: Give our D-Tector's back to us right now.

TOUCANMON 1: No way, no how. These little babies are our ticket for a date with Ranamon.

J.P.: Take it from me, you guys are delusional. Now give them back.

TOUCANMON 1: Can't make us. Now scram.

TOUCANMON 4: Maybe we should scram.

[They run away.]

TOMMY: Wait, come back here! TAKUYA: This is so dumb!

[Suddenly, water flumes pop out of the water, heading their way.]

TAKUYA: That doesn't look good.

[Ranamon appears on top of the last flume.]

BOKOMON: Oh, dear. It's Ranamon.

RANAMON: Hi, y'all.

BOKOMON: She's the warrior of water and very evil.

TAKUYA: Well, of course she is.

KOJI: She sure has lousy timing.

RANAMON: What a pleasant surprise. I have so looked forward to seeing y'all again. I'd hoped to have my beast spirit to show you first, but everything happens for a reason. We can't have everything. Just be good little children and hand over your spirits. I'd love to stay and chat, but frankly you bore me to tears. Now, how's that sound?

ZOE: Hmph. Sounds stupid to me.

KOJI: But we don't have our D-Tector's.

ZOE: I'll handle her.

J.P.: Zoe...

ZOE: Don't worry, J.P. I'll take care of her in no time.

RANAMON: Goody, goody. This is gonna be a treat.

[The water plumes whirl around fast, causing a wind storm.]

TOMMY: Oh, man, this was supposed to be a vacation!

BOKOMON: This is very, very bad. As long as she's near water, her offensive powers exponentially enhance.

NEEMON: I'm guessing that's a bad thing.

BOKOMON: I just said that. Didn't I just say that?

NEEMON: I don't know.

ZOE: Water woman sure has a nasty temper.

J.P.: Zoe, you can't!

ZOE: Look, I haven't been able to spirit evolve. I need to make up for lost time.

NEEMON: Oh, goody, goody.

J.P.: Oh... I've never felt this helpless before.

ZOE: Just leave it to me. Execute! Spirit Evolution!

KAZEMON: Kazemon!

[The wind storm calms down.]

RANAMON: Sugar, do you think you can take me on alone?

KAZEMON: That's a silly question. Of course I do, sugar.

RANAMON: So now you're gonna mock me?

KAZEMON: I wouldn't dream of it. I'd rather fight!

[She attacks, but Ranamon puts up a water shield.]

RANAMON: Don't you want to play with me anymore?

[She sends some water torpedoes at Kazemon, who is just able to dodge them. Up on a cliff, the four Toucanmon stand.]

TOUCANMON 4: Look, Ranamon!

TOUCANMON ALL: Oh! Over here! Over here, Ranamon! I think I'm going to faint.

TOUCANMON 3: She's so beautiful, so sweet, so perfect.

TOUCANMON 1: Stop dancing. We've got to give her the beast spirit and then she'll kiss us.

TOUCANMON ALL: Ah...

RANAMON: Wicked Wave!

KAZEMON: Hurricane Wave!

[She knocks Ranamon's attack away.]

RANAMON: Well, you're actually pretty good at this.

KAZEMON: Oh, Ranamon. That means so little coming from you.

RANAMON: Little brat. I'm gonna take you apart wing by wing.

KAZEMON: Uh!

[She traps Kazemon between four water flumes.]

KAZEMON: Oh!

TOUCANMON ALL: Go, Ranamon! Go, Ranamon! Go, Ranamon! Go, go!

RANAMON: Feeling a little more polite?

KAZEMON: Errr...

RANAMON: *chuckle*

[She senses something.]

RANAMON: Huh?! What's that calling to me? Could it be? Out of my way, brat!

[She release Kazemon from her prison and dives into the ocean.]

KAZEMON: Oh, great, what's she up to now?

[Under water, Ranamon swims towards a sunken ship wreck. From inside a spirit floats out.]

RANAMON: It really is my beast spirit. And the little thing actually looks happy to see me. Beast Spirit Evolution! *laughs*

DIGIMON: *laughs* It's all over now, honey. Too bad I was actually starting to enjoy our little spat.

KOJI: What's happening?!

DIGIMON: Ready or not, here I am!

[She appears above the surface, a large upside-down squid with her in the middle.]

DIGIMON: In all of my radiant beauty. Aren't you impressed?

[The boys stare dumb-founded.]

DIGIMON: I can see by your faces that you still need convincing. Maybe you just need a closer look at sweet Calmaramon. I'm so happy to oblige. *laughs*

[Up on the cliff, the Toucanmon stand dumb-founded as Calmaramon chases after the boys.]

CALMARAMON: *laughs*

TOUCANMON 2: I think I'm going to be too busy for the Ranamon fan club from now on.

TOUCANMON 4: Yeah, me too.

TOUCANMON 3: Me three.

TOUCANMON 1: And to think, we almost had to go on a date with her.

TOUCANMON 2: That Kazemon was kinda cute.

TOUCANMON OTHERS: Definitely cute!

[They walk away, leaving their fan stuff on the ground.]

TAKUYA: That's one ugly-- uh--

TOMMY: She's not really nice either.

J.P.: And she smells awful, did you notice that?

CALMARAMON: Who do you think you are?! You can't insult Calmaramon and get away with it.

[Kazemon kicks at her, but Calmaramon knocks her to the ground.]

KAZEMON: Oh...

CALMARAMON: I'm so sorry, sugar pie. Were you not enjoying our little dance? Too bad. Maybe I should turn up the music.

[She rises up into the air.]

TAKUYA: Zoe, look out!

CALMARAMON: Ta-ta, honey! Titanic Tempest!

[But she loses control of her beast spirit.]

CALMARAMON: Oh, oh, uh, oh, oh! This can't be happening!

BOYS: Uh... uh...

KAZEMON: O-kay.

[She spins away into the distance.]

CALMARAMON: Don't you know who I am?! Whoa!

TAKUYA: Um, what just happened here?

BOKOMON: I'm guessing that Ranamon isn't any better at controlling her beast spirit than you lot.

J.P.: Well, then I'm guessing--

BOYS: We're okay.

ZOE: Guys, what happened to the Toucanmon?

TOMMY: Oh, no. They're gone again.

J.P.: Rats. I forgot all about them.

TAKUYA: Those feathered fan-boys still have our D-Tector's.

KOJI: The way they waddle they couldn't've gotten too far.

TAKUYA: Well then let's go find them!

RIKA THE NARRATOR: 'Bout time these guys caught a break, but I wouldn't count on it if I were them. Keep watching Digimon: Digital Monsters!