Thread:Marcusbwfc/@comment-134861-20190304150953/@comment-31365078-20190305014949

I'd never heard of Em Dashes before, so that's a new one. I just knew dashes are good to use in writing, didn't know there were different types. changing it kinda makes it look weird, so maybe it'd be better to just use commas.

also most of that info was actually already there, I added the hackers memory parts, and extended the part about her murdering yuuko's dad (I copied it from the yuuko's dad section) to say about how crusadermon did it due to manipulation of human thoughts etc (i actually dont like the wording on "crusadermon fades away into data". if I wrote that, I'd write "aiba kills crusadermon"

I mostly just wanted to add in the info about how the nile corp illegal stuff that was revealed in the first game, and was revealed in the sequel to be a lie she made up to get everyone fired so she would be in charge. (which also counts her murdering yuuko's dad as well)

as for not important parts, I feel like most was. I removed the part about erika crying after "rie" fakes her death as that wasn't relevant to Crusadermon I guess (though getting revenge for blackmailing her brother seems relevant?), but I feel like the rest is. rie's thoughts maniputating crusdaermon shows that maybe she wasn't evil before taking over rie, and the nile crop shows even more evilness (as well as to how she got such a high position in the company which is why she's such a direct threat, especially to Hudie as she can kill erika any time she wants by pulling the funding)

"sports play-by-play" could be though maybe that comes from my typing due to watching so much football (soccer). I Do try and put as much relevant info as possible when I write (with context and such) but maybe I goa bit over board at times.

speaking of crusdaermon though, that does bring a small question. when it comes to putting a but more info, does it count as the same characters? what I mean by that, in the first CS, mirei basically clones the data of all the RKs and has you fight them to get data to allow you to get your own playable RKs. would this go under the character section, or just a small mention on the species profile? like "mirei clones crusadermon's deceased data, and a CSmon is found in ___. aiba kills it and then can raise one of their own", etc. I'm thinking itd be on the species page, since I guess during that small moment, there's technically two Alphamon, till you kill the clone etc.

also, this part is interesting "She is the supreme monarch who presides over all the Knightmon". that actually turned out to be irrelevant and at no point does she summon a knightmon or anything. just sounds like they used a generic line from the reference book to describe the species, and wound up not being part of the actual character.

anyway, is that edit better?